What makes relationships work…?

In a general way, some pointers will be given about how to make relationships work that the author has found by looking at research as well as his own experience.

What is covered are such things as:

active listening
expectations
resolving conflict (looking at the problem rather than blaming the person when there is conflict)
being concerned for the partner’s well-being
effective communication
being assertive
being oneself in the relationship from the start

This includes not hiding anything or being on one’s best behaviour initially and then letting it all go downhill subsequently when the relationship seems to be established.

This latter point is about being open and honest, but without being offensive. Sometimes complete openness and honesty can verge on being offensive if the other person doesn’t want to know absolutely everything.

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How Imagination Shapes Reality in Relationships

When we talk about relationships, the issue is often not reality itself, but what a person does with reality in their own mind.

As Freud observed, there is often little difference in the psychological importance we give to imagination and reality. What matters most is not whether something is objectively true, but how it is experienced internally. Reality, in this sense, is frequently what people choose to see rather than something entirely objective.

In relationships, it is natural to develop assumptions, misinterpretations, and even mild delusions. This is an aspect of relationships that is rarely discussed openly, yet it plays a major role in many relationship difficulties.

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What makes relationships work…?

How Imagination Shapes Reality in Relationships

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